Making the Most of the Holidays

For many families the holiday season can be both an exciting and stressful time of year. This can be especially true for families with children with special needs who may struggle with some of the aspects of celebrating and participating in holiday events. It can be particularly challenging for parents to make the most of the holidays in a way that doesn’t overwhelm them and their children.

The holiday season can be stressful for all children, especially children with special needs for many reasons. Some of the challenges often presented this time of year include children being affected by a dramatic change in schedule, being overwhelmed by the amount of events that they are to attend, exposure to situations that can often aggravate sensitivities such as to touch, noise, and to various foods, struggling with being overexcited about events, and participating in family gatherings or traditions. Attending family events can often be stressful for parents due to concerns regarding how their child might interact with other children and family members since often children with special needs struggle with emotion regulation and social skills. This can be especially difficult when parents feel that other family members do not agree with their parenting in some situations since often parents of children with special needs have to provide interventions unique to their specific child.

The good news is that there are many strategies that can be helpful for families to truly make the most out of the holiday season for both parents and their children. In general, it can be important to prepare children for what to expect and what will be expected from them as much as possible. This could mean having many conversations about what is on the schedule for the day or week. Often a visual reminder of what is coming can be helpful for children. Parents can also benefit from being selective about what events they choose to have their children participate in and often limiting the number of events per day so that their child is less likely to be overwhelmed. Allowing children to pick some of the activities that they will participate in and providing children with a lot of down time may also be important. This may entail having large breaks in between events, but also may include bringing your child’s favorite toys or soothing things with them when you are out. For example: having a stash of Legos that your child can play with in a quiet room at a holiday event for a specific period of time may be a lifesaver if your child is soothed by Legos.

For children with noise, touch, or food sensitivities it may make sense to try to avoid places that may be too stimulating for children. For example: A parent may want to avoid holiday shopping with children at peak hours or during large mall events. Parents can plan ahead and make sure to bring several of their child’s favorite snacks or foods to events as well.

Parents may also find that their children are more successful at family events if they provide a higher level of supervision and monitoring. This higher level of monitoring can sometimes help children to navigate challenging social situations. In many instances, parents may help stop a problem before it really starts. For example: for children who struggle with playing board games with others, it may be helpful to pre-teach prior to the family event and provide incentives. Pre-teaching could mean having a conversation prior to the day about how the child will likely be able to play a board game, and provide examples of how he or she can show good sportsmanship. Incentives for good sportsmanship may also be helpful since children are often motivated by rewards. Some parents will opt to bring a craft project or a noncompetitive game as a way to have their children participate in family events without having to compete if this would be too challenging at the current time for them.

Utilizing some of these strategies plus taking the time to think about a child’s unique needs and what types of things such as level of structure and reward plans usually help him or her to be successful can really help to make it a wonderful holiday season. Being positive with children, creating opportunities for fun family times, and using some of these strategies that apply will hopefully help parents to create some great holiday memories.